So I am trying to imbed this idea of not thinking that mistakes are the end of the world into my stubborn brain. I've heard of it, you've heard of it, it's in all the lists of how to be a creative and successful whatever, entrepreneur, inventor, maybe even scientist. Mistakes are expected to happen, will happen, are mandatory even. If there are no mistakes happening, you are just paddling in the shallow end, not diving into the deep end where new ideas live.
These days, I feel terrified daily that I am making mistakes. Each time I ask for help to fund I Am My White Ancestors, I am gripped by fear that I have done it wrong and have lost that person forever. Of course I don't want to loose him or her. I am only asking for money, not their first born child. They can say no. But what if. . . I LOVE MAKING MISTAKES!
It's a good thing I am committed to doing the project. Otherwise I might quit. The project is wide ranging and involves multiple phases, skills, tasks, and people. The mistakes I make are big, interpersonal, and messy. They are not where to put a shape or color. Right now that kind of mistake seems silly and pathetic. But give me a couple of months and I will feel them, too, when I design and paint the backgrounds for the portraits.